MALAYSIAN GP GOODIES

I didn't understand Multi 21, I'm German..

The dust has settled in Sepang and we have to wait for another 3 weeks for the next race where we'll throw up some more dust and swish it around. Ah yes, the life of a Formula 1 fan. But until then what shall we dine on? Any goodies left over? But of course. If there aren't any goodies lying around, we'll just whip up the pan and cook us up something tasty.

So what do we have for supper then? Why, the Vettel Creme Supreme. It keeps in the fridge for at least 6 months so we can enjoy it longer. The net is awash with stories - some not quite true - but still awash with stories of the crime that is team orders during the Malaysian Grand Prix. Newspaper headlines were all shouting for blood and editors were all duly out with their sharp silverware.

The common theme running throughout the headlines is one of war, with 'Red Bull at war' (The Telegraph), 'Webber and Vettel at war' (The Guardian) and 'Red Bull duo in civil war' (Daily Mail) added to by 'Truce over as Webber fumes at Vettel's grand theft' (The Independent) ando 'Vettel victory out of order for Red Bull' (The Times).

The best bits can be found in the editorial comment section, where Vettel's reputation is cut to shreds, marinated overnight and cooked to perfection.

Kevin Eason, The Times
"There is the team order and then there is the double-cross. One was given and disobeyed yesterday as Sebastian Vettel showed a side of his character that defied the cuddly, cheery image of the sport's youngest three-times world champion,"

"You expect a man as young as Vettel to have a backbone of steel to have been so successful at the age of 25. But he exposed himself as ruthless to the point of immorality as he defied his Red Bull team and jumped Mark Webber, his team-mate, for the victory in Malaysia.

"There was plenty of contrition afterwards and the usual extrovert language to underline his apology. "I f***ed up," Vettel told a packed press conference. By then, he had collected his winner's trophy and banked the 25 points that took him into the lead in the World Championship standings. He will not be that sorry if he is champion for the fourth time in November."

David Tremayne, The Independent
"Immediately afterwards, [Vettel] explained that it was not until he and Webber were in parc ferme prior to the podium celebrations that he realised he had committed a cardinal sin. But that's where his post-race damage limitation strategy was revealed as duplicitous subterfuge."

"An apology was the right and humble thing to do. But the truth was that we were already well aware even before he passed Webber that he was going against the orders of his team, because Horner was telling him to stop being silly and to back off. And once the deed was done, Horner warned him that he had plenty of explaining to do. So he knew full well what he had done, and the suggestion that he hadn't acted deliberately but had "made a mistake," was risible.

"His conduct was unbecoming, the petulant act of a man who simply wants to win at all costs."

Paul Weaver, The Guardian
"Even if the Malaysian Grand Prix does not herald the immediate end of the strained but highly successful Sebastian Vettel-Mark Webber partnership at Red Bull, it does represent a new fissure, deeper and more damaging than anything we have seen before. It has also changed the way we will view Vettel.

The German's greatness as a driver was already assured when, last year, he became only the third driver to win three successive world championships. But on Sunday, by ignoring team instructions from his employer, Christian Horner, and choosing instead to chase down Webber to secure his 27th win, he also joined another, darker list.

We can now count Vettel as one of the most ruthlessly single-minded drivers the cacophonous old circus has ever seen. Being in one club, of course, does not preclude membership of the other. Vettel merely moves in alongside Ayrton Senna and Michael Schumacher in that respect. Maybe the ruthlessness underlines the greatness."

Byron Young, Daily Mirror
"Vettel's manoeuvre in the Malaysian Grand Prix was straight out of Michael Schumacher's book of world domination: utterly ruthless and morally reprehensible."

SHALL WE HAVE 'HOT CROSSED BAN'?

F1 star John Watson has gone one step further, urging Red Bull to ban its three-time world champion for breaking team orders. Who the hell is John Watson? According to Wikipedia:

John Marshall Watson MBE is a British former racing driver from Northern Ireland. He competed in Formula One, winning five Grands Prix and also in the World Sportscar Championship. He currently works for Sky Sports.

You lying sack of shit you..I got your number dude

He seems to have a very strong opinion about Vettel's actions on Sunday and did not mince his words. He puts it nicely as follows:

"The only purposeful way to bring him to book is to say: 'You will stand out one race'. I know that if other drivers in other teams disobeyed a team order they would be suspended or even fired. If Christian Horner doesn't reassert his authority in the team, because he has been totally subjugated by Sebastian Vettel, then his position in the team is not exactly the role it is designed to be. The only conclusion I can reach is that Vettel should be suspended for the next grand prix.

You can't take the points away from him and give them to Mark Webber, that's now history and Sebastian has the benefit of those seven additional points. You can't really fine him, it is almost irrelevant to fine him, so the only purposeful way to bring him to book is to say: 'You will stand out one race'."

Tasty. Too strong a medicine? Ask Webber, he's on medication as well. Anyway, nobody gets fired nowadays unless your sponsor doesn't cough up the dough. But Vettel isn't going anywhere John.

MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

Team orders in F1 are a controversial thing and it really fires us fans up, whether we agree with it or not. But F1 has always been a team sport. And teams want to maximise their positions. So sometimes team orders are inevitable, more so in F1. You'd be surprised at the amount of team orders. It's not just Ferrari who have a full menu of team orders including their house specialty - "Fernando is faster than you, do you understand?". Other teams have them too.

Keith of F1 Fanatic has done a fantastic article on team orders. And based on extra toppings of radio chatter has compiled it here. Among the interesting ones which we didn't hear during the race from Vettel's engineer Rocky is this:

“Sebastian you need to get out of the KERS button, get out of the KERS overtake button, the system won’t take it. No KERS overtake button. Use KERS normally.” Later he added: “Sebastian be careful of front tyre wear, front tyre wear is high, both front and rear high wear.”

What the fuck is Multi 21?

And from the Mercedes platter we have this:

“Fantastic job this weekend guys,” said Hamilton before adding it “definitely didn’t feel right for me”.

After complimenting Rosberg on a “good drive” Brawn added: “We’ll discuss the last stint later.” Rosberg’s parting shot was simply: “Remember this one”.

God, remind Ross later for me..

BURP!

Phew I'm stuffed. Those were really good. But I'll be hungry again tomorrow as we have a long way to go to Shanghai. So what did you think of the buffet spread? Pretty good eh? I'm sure you can whip up some nice ones on your own as well. We're all master chefs but remember too many cooks will spoil the broth.

If you enjoyed this posting, please do share it with your network so more people can enjoy it as well. Also, check out my t-shirt design for Mark Webber fans below (designs for other teams and drivers also available), click on image.